Now if you know me, which you should, you would know that traveling is one of my favorite ways to spend my leisure time. It ranks up there with eating In-N-Out, chillin with Saint Dog, and imbibing. However when one decides to exit their comfort zone and experience new places, people, and things; uncomfortable situations occur.
You also should know that I can be very cynical and critical, but don’t get it twisted, I am very go with the flow. The following are just interpretations of some of my views and a critique, but in my style.
To put it more bluntly when traveling I observe, and the following things piss me off!
First I must admit that I am a hypocrite in some of these situations, as I partake in a lot of the following bull shit that is ruining travel. However the first step to recovery is admittance, and I just took that one.
So in no particular order…
Travel Books:
Are you looking for the most unadventurous, trendy, on the beaten path manner to see a foreign destination? Pick up a Guide book and follow it to a T! Lonely Planet, Fromers, and Footprint all are written by a bunch of lucky bastards, (of whose profession I am jealous), and there is an overbearing abundance of goobers who follow these things like the state of Utah does the Book of Mormon.
I have owned the too popular “LP” (I hate when they call it that) and a Footprint and they do provide some good information. My buddy Chris, who has traveled much more of this world than I have once told me “ yes Lonely Planet is good to have for a reference, but only as a reference and you would be a fool to travel with it as your only source” or something along those lines.
The huge problem is a majority of travelers uses these books directly against Chris’s advice, and they all congregate in the same spots and its not a authentic experience. When I did take the advice of my travel book I found my self thinking, “oh perfect this is why I came to Colombia, to hang out with a bunch of Irish and Australian guys, and pick up on some stupid sounding English.”
As these books have made traveling more convenient they have also created “Gringo Trails”. This takes away from a big part of traveling, being away from the norm, and emersion in something new.
Backpackers:
Ok, not all of them but the douche bag ones. The ones who live by their travel books. They make me think “why did you leave your country.” I want to complement people for wanting to get out of their home and experience a different cultures and places, but if you go you should do just that! I want to castigate the “Backpackers” who travel for months in big groups, don’t learn a lick of the local language, and live by Lonely Planet.
Taking pictures:
People go to a location, bust out the camera, and immediately take as many pictures as possible.
Commonly, travelers will arrive at a historical landmark, impressive natural scene, or point of interest, and skip over the conveniently placed informational sign to describe the thing you are looking at. They will proceed to take a bunch of pictures to show people that they were there, and that is that.
There is always the concern of getting the picture, and this takes away from the actual joy of being there in the present time.
People refer to certain places and say: “heres a great place to take a picture so get your cameras ready”. It seems that taking the picture has become more important than actually seeing the site.
This also occurs when going out at night. People want to bring the camera to take funny drunken pictures. Sounds incriminating to me, I tend to act a fool when drinking, and I am not a fan of evidence. Also you can never get every one in, and the photos have to be taken multiple times.
“Oh wait, we have to take that one again, Billy wasn’t in it.”
Now I agree it is fun to look back at photos to reminisce, but not at the inconvenience of the moment.
Facebook:
Probably the main reason people take photos in the first place. To tag people and share with all their friendsies!
Again I am a hypocrite as of course I have an account, as does anyone who has access to the internet.
My beef is the people who abuse it and there fore are addicted. It’s a vicious pattern. You get a Lonely Planet, you go to Backpacker hostels, you meet others who are the same as you, you exchange facebook friend requests, you share pictures, and make little cute comments.
ITS FUCKIN GAY!
If it weren’t such a great networking tool, I would delete it right now!
Asians in SARS masks:
I am not one to be racist or stereotype but this is dead on. I have been in a few airports recently, and only Asians are wearing these masks, and they are doing it in numbers.
Here is a ratio.
6,767,555,800: 263
The global population : People who have died from Swine Flue.
Do the math, you will not get it.
Just learn to wash your hands more often, use a condom, and stay away from suspect looking people and you will be fine.
Israelis:
Generally I don’t object to people who are introverts, I actually encourage their presence. I my self am not a fan of being around people who are supper outgoing and want to make mindless chitchat with me regarding shit that is none of their business. But Israelis taken standoffishness it to a whole different level.
They travel together in large packs, and tend to always meet up with other Jew packs, and are pretty much rude to all outsiders. Not a good way to travel.
I did meet 2 chill ones out of the bunch, but the majority seemed to reject others if you were not born in the promised land. I told one that I was part of the tribe, and he was astonished as this piece of info came to him right after I asked for his bacon.
He ordered a hot dog at a convenience stand that was right next to a soccer field where we just played. It came with cheese and bacon. At first I was shocked at the fact that he would order a hot dog as that does not sound too kosher, but he did. He then sent it back when it had cheese on it.
I asked him for his bacon and said sure. He then proceeded to explain to this Irish guy and me that he was kosher and what it meant and I said yea I know Im Jewish. He then was astonished that I had ate his bacon.
I said yea that if he wanted to get down to it I don’t belief in God and if there is a God it would be a fool for not allowing people to eat bacon!
He did not like this comment.
If eating a bacon is a sin, then send me to the inferno and I will eat bacon with Satan and Michael Jackson.
Traveling in large groups:
I like to go do my own thing on my own time. Being with others on their agenda is a pain in the ass! One other person who is on my level is cool. More than that is a hassle.
The exception to this is when I am with my Grandparents. They have earned the right to take their time and I enjoy accommodating them.
When I am doing independent traveling and get stuck with a bunch of people who want to go together this is a problem.
Your with some people about to do something and wait, one more guy wants to come. But wait he needs to shower first. Oh and not a quick shower, he wants to rub one out in there while he is doing it.
I lose tolerance for this quick.
I want to do my things when I want to do them and your agenda does not fit in.
Kapish?!
Computers with time limits:
Like the one I am currently on! I have to cut this short because there are others waiting.
PS: Im sure I sound like an asshole after this entry. Which is pretty accurate. However I have been traveling 3rd world lately, and I am now being pampered on a nice Cruise/Bus adventure. It is a tough reverse culture shock for me and I am still adapting. I am really enjoying my self, but part of me is bitter.
I love my family and friends more than words can describe.
Peace
sábado, 27 de junio de 2009
miércoles, 17 de junio de 2009
Some reflection on Colombia
-THE FEMALES ARE SMOKING HOT!
There are so many great things that happened to me in this country, but I would not qualify as an actual dudebro if I did not start with this topic. Generations of fornication between Latinos, Europeans, local Indians, and imported black slaves from Africa has resulted in the procreation of beautiful, exotic, divas who arouse from far away. Mestizo at its best!
The bodies are curvy like a cello! Thick apple bottoms with the epitome of the tuck; and bosoms so round, perky, and voluptuous. The accent in which they speak Spanish is also incredibly sexy. An accent is not something you can easily describe in written text, but let me say it is the sexiest dialect I have ever heard. Much sweeter sounding than the half tongued tone of Central America, the vulgar whiny sounding Mexican, the lispie gay sounding Spanish of Spain, the uncomprehendable speak of the Caribbean Islands, or the wannabe Italian Argentinean dialect. The Paisas (what the females are referred to as down there) even smell bomb.
I have never seen such a high concentration of sexy bitties in my life, and I went to ASU! Ok well maybe at ASU, but sexy Latina Momies tan RICAS, estan solas!
Walking around Cartagena me and my British buddy Mat could not stop pointing out the next hot chick who was walking by. This was very hard to do because there are so many. College campuses are a good observation point.
Medellín, or Latin Silicon Valley, as it is referred to by people who think they are funny, is very famous for breast implants. So yea there is a lot of that there. I prefer real titties but I did not complain.
In the country there is a plethora of 10s and I would say that the median of hot chicks who would rank is an 8! Think about that one for a minute!
-THE PEOPLE ARE SUPPER HOSPITABLE!
As a country Colombia is the third largest consumer of our Vision Screeners, following the USA and the UK respectively. Therefore, we have a lot of clients there, and one of the many things I do at Saco is customer relations. With that said I have a few contacts in Colombia. A vast majority of my relationships with clients is via email and phone, but I always casually and jokingly inform them that I will eventually make it to their part of the world and would love to meet them personally. This is my slick way of casually inviting my self to stay at their home. And it works!
In Cali I stayed with customer of ours ,Randy Hurtado, and his Mother Esther.
Esther is from NY but has lived in Colombia for about 50 years. She is an artist whos passion is painting, and her works of art that are up in her studio easily museum quality. They could easily pass as the work of Rembrandt or Velazquez. This was the first time I have personally met such a great artist!
She brings her watercolors to a location and paints what she is observing in a little book. She then takes that book to her studio and works on a larger canvas. Again this is the best artist I have ever met in my life. Beautiful work! Also she is an incredible salsa dancer. It was incredible to see a woman the same age as my Grandma and Nana move so gracefully to the rifts of the salsa rhythm. So full of life, energy, and strong spirit. An incredible woman!
Randy her son was born in Cali, but went to school in Tennessee, and is the definition of 100% bi-lingual. Aside from that he is a great man, who unbeknownst to him, he indirectly taught me a lot about how to live life.
Randy had work to do that night when I arrived so I took a taxi directly to his house, where his mother and maid were awaiting me. When I arrived I was greeted with open arms and presented to the loft where Randy has a computer and flat-screen with Direct TV. I was just chilin checking email and enjoying being in a nice big modern home after traveling for a few weeks, when Esther comes up with a fresh squeezed juice and a full dinner plate. Sweet!
The food and hospitality proceeded like this my whole stay there in Cali. When I woke up I was made breakfast, if I was around I got lunch, and dinner was made for me when I got back in the evening. Good fresh food too! Randy's girlfriend and her son Pablo (age 9) were hanging out all weekend, and I got to get to know them too. We went to a local river and hiked around and got wet in the rapids.
We later hung out in his yard laying around the pool. Pablo and I played catch with a baseball, badminton, and went swimming. He was a cool kid and it made me think of playing with my little brother. I am now looking forward to going home and messing around with Mexican Andrew.
I am supper glad I was able to spend this time with Randy and his family. Great time spent with awesome people and an invaluable part of my trip.
A few days later in Medellín I randomly ran into this Austrian guy Jorj who I met earlier in Cartegena. Small world. We then decided to go check out a part of the city and just wander around. We get on the metro and instantly he starts talking with a girl he is seated next to. Her name is Erica. She then asks us if we want to party and meet her friends, and of course we say Sí!
We then proceeded to go to her barrio in the NorthEast part of Medellín. This is an area not frequented by Gringos and is kind of a ghetto area. She introduces us to her house mates, Omar, Marta, and MyLady (that was her name) and we then go get some booze at the store next door and go chill on the top of the roof. Slowly but surely friends of theirs start to come up to the roof as this is their place to come after work and just chill and unstress. We are partying all throughout the night, going through boxes of aguardiente (Colombian Liquor), beer, matas, and basically pegando la cachimba!
Two of these dudes used to be break dancers and love rap and all of the hip hop culture. You best belive we did some freestylin. We also had some deep conversations about global politics, the world's perception of Colombia, how we are privileged to travel and how they could never afford to do what we are doing, and if people would invite strangers into their home like this in our country?
It was pretty tough for me to answer some of these questions, as I felt that these people were intelligent, just stuck in a shitty situation. I guess we all cant be lucky sperm. I told them that they are more than welcome to come to my home if they ever make it to the United States, or wherever I end up living. And that I wish the best for all of them.
For example, Marta is part of the first group in the city who is now doing social work advancing woman's rights as the culture is still very Machista where men are very dominate. She was a very well spoken and intelligent woman. She then proceeded to inform me on the woman's suffrage movement in the US of 1913 and Susan B. Anthony and all that. I was pretty impressed.
In an nutshell these people were supper cool with me and Jorj!
Nice things they did for two perfect strangers:
Let two random dudes into their home.
Cooked dinner for us.
Provided party favors.
Tried to teach us how to dance.
And most importantly called in a favor with a taxi driver. He had a friend taxi driver come and pick us up at 3 AM, as 2 Gringos cannot just take any random taxi, especially in these parts. Kidnapping and robbery are a reality, and precaution must be taken.
This night provided me with a real Colombian experience. A night like this is something that one would never encounter if they stuck to the Gringo trail, and only went to the touristy spots. I thank all of them for adding to my Colombian experience!
When in Bogotá I stayed with another contact I have made at Keystone View, my good buddy Martin Peralta. He is an Argentinian man who met his Colombian wife in Orlando, Florida as he lived there from 2002-2005. You would not know this however due to his non existing English speaking capability. Just goes to show there are a lot of Latinos in the States.
Martin and his wife (Shes is from Bogotá and I forgot her name, so lets call her Martina) met in Orlando and decided to move to Colombia and start a business and a family. They now have a 3 year old son and a one year old daughter. Their son is not well behaved, maybe its the age, but I will not tolerate the behavior displayed by this child when I have one of my own. Whiny, running around hitting me, throwing his food, disobedient, and the like. I would have laid the smack down.
They also have their own business, a practice providing the tests needed to get a drivers license. In Colombia there are private practices that provide the service of administering various exams to patients in order to get a license. Martin and Martina have 2 of these practices. Aside from a vision test the government also requires an audio test, a psychological test and a general health examination. For each of these tests they need a specialist to administer the exam.
Martin and Martina are the warmest most caring couple I have ever met! He picked me up in his car at the bus stop when I got in, took me to dinner, bought us some beers, and brought me to his house. The whole time we were touring around the city he would not let me pay for anything, and insisted that I was his guest and that he wanted to take care of me.
An example of how caring they are:
It is Saturday night, my last night in Colombia before I go back to Costa Rica. We did some sight seeing and the plan was to go pick up an ex employee, Rosario, who we would be dropping off at the buss station that night as she will be moving to Cali. He proceeded to explain to me Rosario's situation and how the met her and what she was doing. It proceeded like this....
Two years ago Martina saw Rosario looking for food out of a trash can in front of their office while holding a 3 month old baby. As anyone should feel perturbed to see such a thing, Martina felt inclined to do something. She approached Rosario and offered to buy them food. Rosario of course accepted and this and wanted to figure out a way to keep good relations and maybe get more help from Martina. Turns out that Rosario is a drug abuser addicted to heroin, cocaine, and god knows what else. Martin and Martina decided that they wanted to help Rosario kick her addictions, and try to provide her son with some type of future.
Martin and Martina offered Rosario a job cleaning their building and doing very basic tasks. She would not earn money, as that can easily be used to buy drugs, but was offered trips to the market to buy food and close for her and her son. Also part of the deal was that Rosario had to go to therapy one hour a day to try to get some psychological counseling. This worked out because as part of their practice they have a psychologist, so when he was not busy he spent time with Rosario.
Fast forward to present day and Rosario has now kicked the drug habit and is recovering well. Martin and Martina have contacted her family in Cali and arranged for her to now go live with her sister and mother there who are not crack heads. This is where she is going to go this Saturday night, but first we need to go pick her up.
Martin and Martina have bought her a cell phone and some minutes to contact her for this journey and to call them to inform as her safe arrival and her family when she was at the terminal. In Colombia it is pay as you go, not that contract bullshit we are forced into in the states. So they got her the phone as a going away gift. Just more genuine caring that they do.
As Martin and I are going to pick her up Martin point out to me a hill on our left and says that is Barrio Cazuca the most dangerous in Bogotá. He said not even the police go in there in small numbers. There are 2 dichos or sayings that they say about this area. "Entras si quieres, salgas si puedes" and " no llevas la machete, le da la machete" or in English "enter if you want, leave if you can" and "don't bring the machete they give you the machete".
Ok! So its a shady slum like that movie City of God. Good advice and well noted, I will not go there!
We then get to the spot where we are supposed to pick up Rosario and she is waiting with her baby in a dirty baby stroller, covered in mud. It will soon be apparent why. She is supposed to be ready to go from this meeting place. Martin then askes her where is the rest of her stuff? She said that no one would help her bring it down so we have to drive up to her house in Cazuca to go get it.
Martin looks at me nervously as we are already committed to get Rosario to the buss stop, so we have to go to this shady area to complete the mission. FUCK!
Martin proceeds to drive and she says not to worry as she is very well know and loved in this area, and God is with us and this area is a paradise on Gods great earth. Great a junkie conformed God freak. As we continue to drive up a hill through a slum, it seemed like her house was further and further up the hill. The road was not really a road either, more like a mud slip n' slide.
As we are climbing the hill the conversation was pretty much like this:
Martin" Aqui"
Rosario " No mas adelante, sigue"
Martin "Aqui"
Rosario " No, no por aca, mas adaelante"
We finally arrived and she passes Martin the baby, jumps out and runs into her shack. She proceeds to throw trashbags full of cloths into the back seat and a bunch of little kids are also carrying trashbags and putting them into the back seat. We back out and haul ass down the hill and out of the barrio.
We dropped Rosario off at the bus station and she called the next morning to let us know she made it safe to Cali. Hopefully she will start a new life and her son at least now has the opportunity to not grow up in a Favela.
That night we went out to drink a beer after the whole Rosario debacle, and Martin finally let me buy him a drink.
This couple went well beyond the call of duty to help a fellow human being and saved the life of a little boy. Growing up in that environment selling drugs and being a thug is all but inevitable.
This caring was apparent in the way that they took care of me in the few days before. But seeing what they had done for Rosario, was a big fat !
Fortunately I did not meet any crazy Guerrilla fighters nor anyone who wanted to kidnap me to do the Paseo de Millionario.
Not saying that they don't exist, but from my experience Colombia was a very friendly country glad to be rising out of the drug induced civil war of the past and embracing the future.
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A YELLOW FEVER VACCINATION TO ENTER CENTRAL AMERICA FROM SOUTH AMERICA!
I never knew this was the case. They should tell you this when you buy a plane ticket. Get your shit together Taca!
I get to the airport in Bogotá an hour and a half before my flight, ignoring their advice of 3 hours. I go to the window to get my ticket and they ask me for my passport and my yellow fever certificate.
Me "What certificate?"
Her "To go to Costa Rica from here you need a certificate to get on the plane, with out it you can not go and should change your flight"
Me "Well Im getting on this flight, how do I get the certificate, can i do this here at the airport?"
Her " Yes but the vaccination needs to be in your blood stream for 10 days to take affect. You can get it but you will have to stay in Colombia for 10 days"
Now this does not work for me, I have a flight leaving for the states from Costa Rica in 5 days then go straight to Alaska, I gotta figure something out.
I go to the clinic and ask the girl working there for the vaccination. She said that she can give it to me and hopefully I can explain to the lady something and that they can let me on.
Ok I guess Ill try.
I go to back to the window and try to check in with a different lady and seemed in a big hurry as now there was like 50 minutes until my flight and I needed to go now as security is such a bitch. She said ok but I could not check my bag as baggage check for this flight is now closed and I had to run to the security. She then was about to hand me the ticket and then remembered to ask me for my passport and certificate. Shit I almost got away with it I thought. I gave her the documents and she said that this certificate is good but it was done today and I have to wait 10 days. I told her that I had the vaccine before but lost it and just got a new one. She told me to go get the girl at the clinic to write this on the certificate and they would let me on.
I ran back to the clinic and asked the girl to "find my previous vaccination in the system, and I would be grateful and love to help her how I could". She agreed and was able to find the record of my old vaccination I got on July 23 of 2004. I gave her all the aguardiente that I had in my bag, as I could not bring liquid on the plane, gave her my knives and some extra money I had. Well worth it! And thank god for the power of the dollar and some countries still working with a palm up!
I ran down to get my ticket and they said finally my certificate was good. I had to beg and plead with people to get me through the security lines as in Colombia they are a bitch. Im sure you understand why. First security like any normal airport. Then a thorough a customs process, then another security where they open your bags and do a body frisk.
As Im at the last security point, a girl from the airline comes and is screaming "Señor Gerson, Para San Jose"
Me: Si Voy!
I look at the guy with his hands in my bag like " Parce, dejame irme profa no llevo nada"
He understood and let me run to the terminal. I was the last to get on the plane and everyone was kinda looking at me like I was the asshole who didn't get to the airport 3 hours before my flight and didn't have my vaccination certificate.
Boy were they way off!
I entered Costa Rica with no problems, and Im pretty sure I didn't bring Yellow Fever! The good thing is I now have this certificate and I can now go to any dirty disease ridden country on the world!
It is an incredible how the mind works when it is forced to act in such a quick manner. Take away options and the brain will be forced to find a solution! Think fast!
Big ups to my old man too for answering my prayers!
THE LANDSCAPE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How can I go into beautiful green lush mountains, huge forests with waterfalls and cascades, big beautiful valleys, white beaches, jungles, awesome sunsets, rivers and all types of nice nature.
Well I just did.
Google image Colombia, its a really pretty country with everything, and Im over writing.
-IN CONCLUSION
Colombia is a great country and I am glad I was able to go and make my own opinion. That is the most important thing I learned on this journey. Nothing is more valuable than ones own instincts and experiences are priceless to help improve on this best of all intuitions!
I will be back to Colombia some day in the future, but with more time to explore and a valid yellow fever certificate!
Nos vemos pronto parces. Que chevére la cachimba!
There are so many great things that happened to me in this country, but I would not qualify as an actual dudebro if I did not start with this topic. Generations of fornication between Latinos, Europeans, local Indians, and imported black slaves from Africa has resulted in the procreation of beautiful, exotic, divas who arouse from far away. Mestizo at its best!
The bodies are curvy like a cello! Thick apple bottoms with the epitome of the tuck; and bosoms so round, perky, and voluptuous. The accent in which they speak Spanish is also incredibly sexy. An accent is not something you can easily describe in written text, but let me say it is the sexiest dialect I have ever heard. Much sweeter sounding than the half tongued tone of Central America, the vulgar whiny sounding Mexican, the lispie gay sounding Spanish of Spain, the uncomprehendable speak of the Caribbean Islands, or the wannabe Italian Argentinean dialect. The Paisas (what the females are referred to as down there) even smell bomb.
I have never seen such a high concentration of sexy bitties in my life, and I went to ASU! Ok well maybe at ASU, but sexy Latina Momies tan RICAS, estan solas!
Walking around Cartagena me and my British buddy Mat could not stop pointing out the next hot chick who was walking by. This was very hard to do because there are so many. College campuses are a good observation point.
Medellín, or Latin Silicon Valley, as it is referred to by people who think they are funny, is very famous for breast implants. So yea there is a lot of that there. I prefer real titties but I did not complain.
In the country there is a plethora of 10s and I would say that the median of hot chicks who would rank is an 8! Think about that one for a minute!
-THE PEOPLE ARE SUPPER HOSPITABLE!
As a country Colombia is the third largest consumer of our Vision Screeners, following the USA and the UK respectively. Therefore, we have a lot of clients there, and one of the many things I do at Saco is customer relations. With that said I have a few contacts in Colombia. A vast majority of my relationships with clients is via email and phone, but I always casually and jokingly inform them that I will eventually make it to their part of the world and would love to meet them personally. This is my slick way of casually inviting my self to stay at their home. And it works!
In Cali I stayed with customer of ours ,Randy Hurtado, and his Mother Esther.
Esther is from NY but has lived in Colombia for about 50 years. She is an artist whos passion is painting, and her works of art that are up in her studio easily museum quality. They could easily pass as the work of Rembrandt or Velazquez. This was the first time I have personally met such a great artist!
She brings her watercolors to a location and paints what she is observing in a little book. She then takes that book to her studio and works on a larger canvas. Again this is the best artist I have ever met in my life. Beautiful work! Also she is an incredible salsa dancer. It was incredible to see a woman the same age as my Grandma and Nana move so gracefully to the rifts of the salsa rhythm. So full of life, energy, and strong spirit. An incredible woman!
Randy her son was born in Cali, but went to school in Tennessee, and is the definition of 100% bi-lingual. Aside from that he is a great man, who unbeknownst to him, he indirectly taught me a lot about how to live life.
Randy had work to do that night when I arrived so I took a taxi directly to his house, where his mother and maid were awaiting me. When I arrived I was greeted with open arms and presented to the loft where Randy has a computer and flat-screen with Direct TV. I was just chilin checking email and enjoying being in a nice big modern home after traveling for a few weeks, when Esther comes up with a fresh squeezed juice and a full dinner plate. Sweet!
The food and hospitality proceeded like this my whole stay there in Cali. When I woke up I was made breakfast, if I was around I got lunch, and dinner was made for me when I got back in the evening. Good fresh food too! Randy's girlfriend and her son Pablo (age 9) were hanging out all weekend, and I got to get to know them too. We went to a local river and hiked around and got wet in the rapids.
We later hung out in his yard laying around the pool. Pablo and I played catch with a baseball, badminton, and went swimming. He was a cool kid and it made me think of playing with my little brother. I am now looking forward to going home and messing around with Mexican Andrew.
I am supper glad I was able to spend this time with Randy and his family. Great time spent with awesome people and an invaluable part of my trip.
A few days later in Medellín I randomly ran into this Austrian guy Jorj who I met earlier in Cartegena. Small world. We then decided to go check out a part of the city and just wander around. We get on the metro and instantly he starts talking with a girl he is seated next to. Her name is Erica. She then asks us if we want to party and meet her friends, and of course we say Sí!
We then proceeded to go to her barrio in the NorthEast part of Medellín. This is an area not frequented by Gringos and is kind of a ghetto area. She introduces us to her house mates, Omar, Marta, and MyLady (that was her name) and we then go get some booze at the store next door and go chill on the top of the roof. Slowly but surely friends of theirs start to come up to the roof as this is their place to come after work and just chill and unstress. We are partying all throughout the night, going through boxes of aguardiente (Colombian Liquor), beer, matas, and basically pegando la cachimba!
Two of these dudes used to be break dancers and love rap and all of the hip hop culture. You best belive we did some freestylin. We also had some deep conversations about global politics, the world's perception of Colombia, how we are privileged to travel and how they could never afford to do what we are doing, and if people would invite strangers into their home like this in our country?
It was pretty tough for me to answer some of these questions, as I felt that these people were intelligent, just stuck in a shitty situation. I guess we all cant be lucky sperm. I told them that they are more than welcome to come to my home if they ever make it to the United States, or wherever I end up living. And that I wish the best for all of them.
For example, Marta is part of the first group in the city who is now doing social work advancing woman's rights as the culture is still very Machista where men are very dominate. She was a very well spoken and intelligent woman. She then proceeded to inform me on the woman's suffrage movement in the US of 1913 and Susan B. Anthony and all that. I was pretty impressed.
In an nutshell these people were supper cool with me and Jorj!
Nice things they did for two perfect strangers:
Let two random dudes into their home.
Cooked dinner for us.
Provided party favors.
Tried to teach us how to dance.
And most importantly called in a favor with a taxi driver. He had a friend taxi driver come and pick us up at 3 AM, as 2 Gringos cannot just take any random taxi, especially in these parts. Kidnapping and robbery are a reality, and precaution must be taken.
This night provided me with a real Colombian experience. A night like this is something that one would never encounter if they stuck to the Gringo trail, and only went to the touristy spots. I thank all of them for adding to my Colombian experience!
When in Bogotá I stayed with another contact I have made at Keystone View, my good buddy Martin Peralta. He is an Argentinian man who met his Colombian wife in Orlando, Florida as he lived there from 2002-2005. You would not know this however due to his non existing English speaking capability. Just goes to show there are a lot of Latinos in the States.
Martin and his wife (Shes is from Bogotá and I forgot her name, so lets call her Martina) met in Orlando and decided to move to Colombia and start a business and a family. They now have a 3 year old son and a one year old daughter. Their son is not well behaved, maybe its the age, but I will not tolerate the behavior displayed by this child when I have one of my own. Whiny, running around hitting me, throwing his food, disobedient, and the like. I would have laid the smack down.
They also have their own business, a practice providing the tests needed to get a drivers license. In Colombia there are private practices that provide the service of administering various exams to patients in order to get a license. Martin and Martina have 2 of these practices. Aside from a vision test the government also requires an audio test, a psychological test and a general health examination. For each of these tests they need a specialist to administer the exam.
Martin and Martina are the warmest most caring couple I have ever met! He picked me up in his car at the bus stop when I got in, took me to dinner, bought us some beers, and brought me to his house. The whole time we were touring around the city he would not let me pay for anything, and insisted that I was his guest and that he wanted to take care of me.
An example of how caring they are:
It is Saturday night, my last night in Colombia before I go back to Costa Rica. We did some sight seeing and the plan was to go pick up an ex employee, Rosario, who we would be dropping off at the buss station that night as she will be moving to Cali. He proceeded to explain to me Rosario's situation and how the met her and what she was doing. It proceeded like this....
Two years ago Martina saw Rosario looking for food out of a trash can in front of their office while holding a 3 month old baby. As anyone should feel perturbed to see such a thing, Martina felt inclined to do something. She approached Rosario and offered to buy them food. Rosario of course accepted and this and wanted to figure out a way to keep good relations and maybe get more help from Martina. Turns out that Rosario is a drug abuser addicted to heroin, cocaine, and god knows what else. Martin and Martina decided that they wanted to help Rosario kick her addictions, and try to provide her son with some type of future.
Martin and Martina offered Rosario a job cleaning their building and doing very basic tasks. She would not earn money, as that can easily be used to buy drugs, but was offered trips to the market to buy food and close for her and her son. Also part of the deal was that Rosario had to go to therapy one hour a day to try to get some psychological counseling. This worked out because as part of their practice they have a psychologist, so when he was not busy he spent time with Rosario.
Fast forward to present day and Rosario has now kicked the drug habit and is recovering well. Martin and Martina have contacted her family in Cali and arranged for her to now go live with her sister and mother there who are not crack heads. This is where she is going to go this Saturday night, but first we need to go pick her up.
Martin and Martina have bought her a cell phone and some minutes to contact her for this journey and to call them to inform as her safe arrival and her family when she was at the terminal. In Colombia it is pay as you go, not that contract bullshit we are forced into in the states. So they got her the phone as a going away gift. Just more genuine caring that they do.
As Martin and I are going to pick her up Martin point out to me a hill on our left and says that is Barrio Cazuca the most dangerous in Bogotá. He said not even the police go in there in small numbers. There are 2 dichos or sayings that they say about this area. "Entras si quieres, salgas si puedes" and " no llevas la machete, le da la machete" or in English "enter if you want, leave if you can" and "don't bring the machete they give you the machete".
Ok! So its a shady slum like that movie City of God. Good advice and well noted, I will not go there!
We then get to the spot where we are supposed to pick up Rosario and she is waiting with her baby in a dirty baby stroller, covered in mud. It will soon be apparent why. She is supposed to be ready to go from this meeting place. Martin then askes her where is the rest of her stuff? She said that no one would help her bring it down so we have to drive up to her house in Cazuca to go get it.
Martin looks at me nervously as we are already committed to get Rosario to the buss stop, so we have to go to this shady area to complete the mission. FUCK!
Martin proceeds to drive and she says not to worry as she is very well know and loved in this area, and God is with us and this area is a paradise on Gods great earth. Great a junkie conformed God freak. As we continue to drive up a hill through a slum, it seemed like her house was further and further up the hill. The road was not really a road either, more like a mud slip n' slide.
As we are climbing the hill the conversation was pretty much like this:
Martin" Aqui"
Rosario " No mas adelante, sigue"
Martin "Aqui"
Rosario " No, no por aca, mas adaelante"
We finally arrived and she passes Martin the baby, jumps out and runs into her shack. She proceeds to throw trashbags full of cloths into the back seat and a bunch of little kids are also carrying trashbags and putting them into the back seat. We back out and haul ass down the hill and out of the barrio.
We dropped Rosario off at the bus station and she called the next morning to let us know she made it safe to Cali. Hopefully she will start a new life and her son at least now has the opportunity to not grow up in a Favela.
That night we went out to drink a beer after the whole Rosario debacle, and Martin finally let me buy him a drink.
This couple went well beyond the call of duty to help a fellow human being and saved the life of a little boy. Growing up in that environment selling drugs and being a thug is all but inevitable.
This caring was apparent in the way that they took care of me in the few days before. But seeing what they had done for Rosario, was a big fat !
Fortunately I did not meet any crazy Guerrilla fighters nor anyone who wanted to kidnap me to do the Paseo de Millionario.
Not saying that they don't exist, but from my experience Colombia was a very friendly country glad to be rising out of the drug induced civil war of the past and embracing the future.
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A YELLOW FEVER VACCINATION TO ENTER CENTRAL AMERICA FROM SOUTH AMERICA!
I never knew this was the case. They should tell you this when you buy a plane ticket. Get your shit together Taca!
I get to the airport in Bogotá an hour and a half before my flight, ignoring their advice of 3 hours. I go to the window to get my ticket and they ask me for my passport and my yellow fever certificate.
Me "What certificate?"
Her "To go to Costa Rica from here you need a certificate to get on the plane, with out it you can not go and should change your flight"
Me "Well Im getting on this flight, how do I get the certificate, can i do this here at the airport?"
Her " Yes but the vaccination needs to be in your blood stream for 10 days to take affect. You can get it but you will have to stay in Colombia for 10 days"
Now this does not work for me, I have a flight leaving for the states from Costa Rica in 5 days then go straight to Alaska, I gotta figure something out.
I go to the clinic and ask the girl working there for the vaccination. She said that she can give it to me and hopefully I can explain to the lady something and that they can let me on.
Ok I guess Ill try.
I go to back to the window and try to check in with a different lady and seemed in a big hurry as now there was like 50 minutes until my flight and I needed to go now as security is such a bitch. She said ok but I could not check my bag as baggage check for this flight is now closed and I had to run to the security. She then was about to hand me the ticket and then remembered to ask me for my passport and certificate. Shit I almost got away with it I thought. I gave her the documents and she said that this certificate is good but it was done today and I have to wait 10 days. I told her that I had the vaccine before but lost it and just got a new one. She told me to go get the girl at the clinic to write this on the certificate and they would let me on.
I ran back to the clinic and asked the girl to "find my previous vaccination in the system, and I would be grateful and love to help her how I could". She agreed and was able to find the record of my old vaccination I got on July 23 of 2004. I gave her all the aguardiente that I had in my bag, as I could not bring liquid on the plane, gave her my knives and some extra money I had. Well worth it! And thank god for the power of the dollar and some countries still working with a palm up!
I ran down to get my ticket and they said finally my certificate was good. I had to beg and plead with people to get me through the security lines as in Colombia they are a bitch. Im sure you understand why. First security like any normal airport. Then a thorough a customs process, then another security where they open your bags and do a body frisk.
As Im at the last security point, a girl from the airline comes and is screaming "Señor Gerson, Para San Jose"
Me: Si Voy!
I look at the guy with his hands in my bag like " Parce, dejame irme profa no llevo nada"
He understood and let me run to the terminal. I was the last to get on the plane and everyone was kinda looking at me like I was the asshole who didn't get to the airport 3 hours before my flight and didn't have my vaccination certificate.
Boy were they way off!
I entered Costa Rica with no problems, and Im pretty sure I didn't bring Yellow Fever! The good thing is I now have this certificate and I can now go to any dirty disease ridden country on the world!
It is an incredible how the mind works when it is forced to act in such a quick manner. Take away options and the brain will be forced to find a solution! Think fast!
Big ups to my old man too for answering my prayers!
THE LANDSCAPE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How can I go into beautiful green lush mountains, huge forests with waterfalls and cascades, big beautiful valleys, white beaches, jungles, awesome sunsets, rivers and all types of nice nature.
Well I just did.
Google image Colombia, its a really pretty country with everything, and Im over writing.
-IN CONCLUSION
Colombia is a great country and I am glad I was able to go and make my own opinion. That is the most important thing I learned on this journey. Nothing is more valuable than ones own instincts and experiences are priceless to help improve on this best of all intuitions!
I will be back to Colombia some day in the future, but with more time to explore and a valid yellow fever certificate!
Nos vemos pronto parces. Que chevére la cachimba!
miércoles, 3 de junio de 2009
Pirates of the Caribbean
I decided some time ago that since I have been living so close to South America (compared to the states) I really wanted to put my footprint on that continent. I have heard great things about Colombia from everyone who has been there, and horror stories from those who are clueless and have never been. I wanted to decide for my self.
Due to the Darien Gap, one of the wildest jungles on the earth, land travel across the southernmost point of the Panamanian isthmus is virtually impossible. Aside from being one of the thickest, wildest, untouched piece of wilderness on this planet, the only inhabitants are indigenous Indians who still live incredibly primitive, and FARC the Colombian gorilla fighters. Oh yea and thousands of different type of animals, including a shit load of malaria and dengue. The Panamerican Highway goes from Alaska down to Chile and only has one break, this is it.
Therefor the two logical means of getting from Central to South America are either air or sea ( it is possible to trek the Darien, but it is a bad idea and one must be out of their mind).
As air travel is quite boring and mundane, a sea adventure seemed like the sweeter option.
A pirats life for me!
This is quite common with travelers and there are often boats leaving from parts of Panama that arrive in parts of Colombia.
I found a catamaran, Ashanti, with its Captain Henry which was leaving in a few days, so I singed up and waited. Henry is a 50+ German sailor, probably the son of an Third Reich SS soldier. He is now living the lonely life of a sailor and it will soon be apparent why. Calling him socially awkward does not come close to doing the justice.
With a few days to go till I take off from the city I didn't have much to do as I had been around and seen all the sites. I proceeded to engage in one of my favorite pastimes, Binge Drinking. This continued up until and beyond Friday morning when I met at the pickup spot at 5AM to go to the boat. I met two of my fellow sailors, Nile and James, 2 British Blokes who were not traveling together, but randomly I get stuck with a bunch of Brits.
James has been a dive instructor in Bocas Del Torro and Dominical (get familiar with geography or look at a map) and he is a chillaxed surfer type dude, but British, which was a trip. And Nile (like the river) a prepubescent 19 year old traveling the Americas and trying to grow body hair.
We get to the boat in Carti, San Blas and we are greeted by another mate from the UK, Mat. This dude has been traveling all over the world, starting in Japan, did all of the orient and SE Asia and has now made his way down from the Bay Area.
When we boarded the sail boat, I thought Mat was the first mate, and greeted him with a very casually ¨Yo what up fool¨ as I would any amigo especially in my still inebriated state. He looks at me in shock and says in a funny British accent ¨ is that a term of endearment where your from¨ I told him yea and to stop trippin and help me with the bags and to hit the bottle of rum, he immediately followed my orders.
He also informed us to take of our sandals as the captain is incredibly anal about everything and that he will be back to demonstrate this character trait in a few minutes as he just left on the dingy to go get water and random supplys that are to last us the 5 days at sea.
At this point in time we decided that we need to talk to this guy Henry as we did not really have any clue what the deal was, and only that this guy should be taking us to Cartegena and we should get there in about 4-5 days. We had also said that we wanted to discuss the price and what was expected of us, like were we just chillin on the boat, or are we the crew? Either one would be cool, but we were very uninformed and needed to know como era la vara.
So Henry rolls up with a bunch of bottles of water and some tomatos and yells at us to go to the front and start passing the jugs and filling up the water tank. We follow directions, and it becomes apparent we are the crew.
We had decided as a group in the previous 10 minutes that if we were indeed the crew we could use this as a bargaining chip and try to get the price of the trip down. After filling the tank, bringing the dingy on board, and putting the bags away Henry proceeds to ask for passports and money. We bring up the point that this trip was explained to us as a holiday vacation and that if we were to be working could we get a discount.
Henry freaks out and is astonished at the fact that we would ask such a thing and in his mind we seemed like this group of whinny bitches who couldn't handle manning a ship. Our plan kind of backfired and got us off on a bad foot.
Henry:¨I can not believe I am having this conversation, what is this Kindergarten¨
Us: ¨Tranquilo Guebon, we just want to know whats the deal, as we have know info, so know we know the deal, Chill!¨
A great way to start a long joinery in a small boat about to be away from land for a few days. Thank God he did not know I am a Jew.
Shit cooled off and I took it upon me to make the situation chill and handle it and make it smooth, as I do! I calmed him down to the best of my ability and told the other mates that it would be cool. I mean whats the worst that could happen?
We then pulled up anchor, hoisted the sail, kicked the engine, and took off for our first destination, Porvenir Island in San Blas. This is where we need to get our exit stamps from Panama and some document that allows him to sail into Colombian waters.
Henry is showing us how to do things on the catamaran and he appoints me driver, and then takes the others to the port side of the bow and starts showing them how to work the boom and mast and all that.
Did he not smell the liquor on my breath, or rather see me carrying around the bottle of rum the whole time we were working? Whatever I don't think I'm gonna get a BUI in the Caribbean, well hopefully right.
We start to pull up to the Port after a few hours and Henry takes over driving. We drop anchor and the dingy and Henry takes off to the island with all our passports and to get the document. He comes back about 30 minutes later, and said
¨We have a big problem, the only guy who can stamp the passports left early today and wont be back until Tuesday, but hes going to fax a paper over that gives us permission to leave, but we can not get stamps, you are on the list as crew so you have permission and don't need the passports stamped, we shall still go!¨
¨Wait what?¨
At this point I am a bit wigged out as this guy is making his first journey from these particular ports, is acting like an AWOL U-boat captain, and we are trusting him with our lives, not only on the sea, but to get us into Colombia a country with revolutionary problems with out problems? I need another swig of rum!
The group seems to think it will be fine, Henry as well, so we sail on.
We drop anchor at our first island where we will be staying the night before taking off to the next one in the morning. We will then hit high water and will not see land for a few days.
At this point Henry and James are butting heads as James is down to work but is not having Henry´s attitude.
We could feel the water boiling.
Henry accuse James of being a lazy bitch, and James starts talking shit. Henry comes up chest to chest and then suddenly Henry shoves James off the boat!!!
We all look at each other astonished and at a loss of words. James was literally and physically just thrown off the boat.
James gets up on the boat and surprisingly calmly tells Henry how irresponsible, inexperienced, and unprofessional he is, and that he is staying on the island and wants his money back.
Henry agrees but makes James write and sign a declaration stating he is leaving on his own will.
Swig of rum.
Luckily a little Kuna boat is approaching and James flags them down and get on and takes off!
I take another swig of rum.
This was all within 5 minutes, and thank God that Kuna boat passed or who knows what kind of shit would have hit the fan.
We proceed to discuss these issues we had with Henry with him over a few drinks that night, and try to settle down. I dont know how much registered but Mat was very helpful and calm, great help in the situation.
We get up in the morning to one of the most beautiful island back drops in the world and forget all about the night before and the hangover I should have. Oh wait I'm still buzzin! However the feeling is serene!
That wears off soon, as we proceed to the sea and I start to get woozy. I go pull the trigger, get some toxins out, lay down, drink some water, pull the trigger, eat some fruit, jump in the water, and try to man up and grow some sea legs.
I did it and it was better.
Henry then casually informs us that we will each have to make a 2 hour night shift in the cockpit each night, making sure the boat does not crash. What?
¨Yes¨he said ¨The boat will be driving on auto pilot, but we always need to have someone making sure that we dont hit another boat and watch the depth and currents. You remember I showed you how to work the instruments?¨
¨Uh yea I guess we can do that, did you ever think of providing the hostals with this information to tell the passengers beforehand? So they can mentally prepare right?¨
He looks at me like Im a pussy.
We could not do anything right, weather it be cooking, cleaning, manning the wench, raising the sail, or taking a piss of the back.
He even got upset with me as I was singing,
Yo no soy marinero,
Yo no soy marinero,
Soy Capitan
Soy Capitan
Dude was the Gestapo!
After a few days of this we are approaching the port in Cartegena and Henry then decides he wants to tell me something.
¨Brandon, I know you speak Spanish, but let me speak to port authority, regrading the non stamps and funny faxed document, don´t say anything!¨
Now I had thought about this, if something were to occur I would play dumb to the fact that we did not even get our passports stamped, explain how he demanded them right off the bad and I did not know anything about the situation and trusted him, and if needed, let me pay the fine (bribe) to let me get the entry stamp and leave the boat and be on my way.
To Henrys credit I guess, we enter the port get our stamps after a few hours, and bounce.
What an experience! I learned a lot on this 4 day adventure. How to deal with different people in close quarters, how to be mature enough to deal with an unideal situation out of necessity, gained some sea legs, and last but not least, how to sail a bit.
In the end I must say and recommend to anyone who asks how to get to Colombia from Panama..... is there any question, dont be a pussy and sail!!!!
Yoho Yoho a pirates life for me
Due to the Darien Gap, one of the wildest jungles on the earth, land travel across the southernmost point of the Panamanian isthmus is virtually impossible. Aside from being one of the thickest, wildest, untouched piece of wilderness on this planet, the only inhabitants are indigenous Indians who still live incredibly primitive, and FARC the Colombian gorilla fighters. Oh yea and thousands of different type of animals, including a shit load of malaria and dengue. The Panamerican Highway goes from Alaska down to Chile and only has one break, this is it.
Therefor the two logical means of getting from Central to South America are either air or sea ( it is possible to trek the Darien, but it is a bad idea and one must be out of their mind).
As air travel is quite boring and mundane, a sea adventure seemed like the sweeter option.
A pirats life for me!
This is quite common with travelers and there are often boats leaving from parts of Panama that arrive in parts of Colombia.
I found a catamaran, Ashanti, with its Captain Henry which was leaving in a few days, so I singed up and waited. Henry is a 50+ German sailor, probably the son of an Third Reich SS soldier. He is now living the lonely life of a sailor and it will soon be apparent why. Calling him socially awkward does not come close to doing the justice.
With a few days to go till I take off from the city I didn't have much to do as I had been around and seen all the sites. I proceeded to engage in one of my favorite pastimes, Binge Drinking. This continued up until and beyond Friday morning when I met at the pickup spot at 5AM to go to the boat. I met two of my fellow sailors, Nile and James, 2 British Blokes who were not traveling together, but randomly I get stuck with a bunch of Brits.
James has been a dive instructor in Bocas Del Torro and Dominical (get familiar with geography or look at a map) and he is a chillaxed surfer type dude, but British, which was a trip. And Nile (like the river) a prepubescent 19 year old traveling the Americas and trying to grow body hair.
We get to the boat in Carti, San Blas and we are greeted by another mate from the UK, Mat. This dude has been traveling all over the world, starting in Japan, did all of the orient and SE Asia and has now made his way down from the Bay Area.
When we boarded the sail boat, I thought Mat was the first mate, and greeted him with a very casually ¨Yo what up fool¨ as I would any amigo especially in my still inebriated state. He looks at me in shock and says in a funny British accent ¨ is that a term of endearment where your from¨ I told him yea and to stop trippin and help me with the bags and to hit the bottle of rum, he immediately followed my orders.
He also informed us to take of our sandals as the captain is incredibly anal about everything and that he will be back to demonstrate this character trait in a few minutes as he just left on the dingy to go get water and random supplys that are to last us the 5 days at sea.
At this point in time we decided that we need to talk to this guy Henry as we did not really have any clue what the deal was, and only that this guy should be taking us to Cartegena and we should get there in about 4-5 days. We had also said that we wanted to discuss the price and what was expected of us, like were we just chillin on the boat, or are we the crew? Either one would be cool, but we were very uninformed and needed to know como era la vara.
So Henry rolls up with a bunch of bottles of water and some tomatos and yells at us to go to the front and start passing the jugs and filling up the water tank. We follow directions, and it becomes apparent we are the crew.
We had decided as a group in the previous 10 minutes that if we were indeed the crew we could use this as a bargaining chip and try to get the price of the trip down. After filling the tank, bringing the dingy on board, and putting the bags away Henry proceeds to ask for passports and money. We bring up the point that this trip was explained to us as a holiday vacation and that if we were to be working could we get a discount.
Henry freaks out and is astonished at the fact that we would ask such a thing and in his mind we seemed like this group of whinny bitches who couldn't handle manning a ship. Our plan kind of backfired and got us off on a bad foot.
Henry:¨I can not believe I am having this conversation, what is this Kindergarten¨
Us: ¨Tranquilo Guebon, we just want to know whats the deal, as we have know info, so know we know the deal, Chill!¨
A great way to start a long joinery in a small boat about to be away from land for a few days. Thank God he did not know I am a Jew.
Shit cooled off and I took it upon me to make the situation chill and handle it and make it smooth, as I do! I calmed him down to the best of my ability and told the other mates that it would be cool. I mean whats the worst that could happen?
We then pulled up anchor, hoisted the sail, kicked the engine, and took off for our first destination, Porvenir Island in San Blas. This is where we need to get our exit stamps from Panama and some document that allows him to sail into Colombian waters.
Henry is showing us how to do things on the catamaran and he appoints me driver, and then takes the others to the port side of the bow and starts showing them how to work the boom and mast and all that.
Did he not smell the liquor on my breath, or rather see me carrying around the bottle of rum the whole time we were working? Whatever I don't think I'm gonna get a BUI in the Caribbean, well hopefully right.
We start to pull up to the Port after a few hours and Henry takes over driving. We drop anchor and the dingy and Henry takes off to the island with all our passports and to get the document. He comes back about 30 minutes later, and said
¨We have a big problem, the only guy who can stamp the passports left early today and wont be back until Tuesday, but hes going to fax a paper over that gives us permission to leave, but we can not get stamps, you are on the list as crew so you have permission and don't need the passports stamped, we shall still go!¨
¨Wait what?¨
At this point I am a bit wigged out as this guy is making his first journey from these particular ports, is acting like an AWOL U-boat captain, and we are trusting him with our lives, not only on the sea, but to get us into Colombia a country with revolutionary problems with out problems? I need another swig of rum!
The group seems to think it will be fine, Henry as well, so we sail on.
We drop anchor at our first island where we will be staying the night before taking off to the next one in the morning. We will then hit high water and will not see land for a few days.
At this point Henry and James are butting heads as James is down to work but is not having Henry´s attitude.
We could feel the water boiling.
Henry accuse James of being a lazy bitch, and James starts talking shit. Henry comes up chest to chest and then suddenly Henry shoves James off the boat!!!
We all look at each other astonished and at a loss of words. James was literally and physically just thrown off the boat.
James gets up on the boat and surprisingly calmly tells Henry how irresponsible, inexperienced, and unprofessional he is, and that he is staying on the island and wants his money back.
Henry agrees but makes James write and sign a declaration stating he is leaving on his own will.
Swig of rum.
Luckily a little Kuna boat is approaching and James flags them down and get on and takes off!
I take another swig of rum.
This was all within 5 minutes, and thank God that Kuna boat passed or who knows what kind of shit would have hit the fan.
We proceed to discuss these issues we had with Henry with him over a few drinks that night, and try to settle down. I dont know how much registered but Mat was very helpful and calm, great help in the situation.
We get up in the morning to one of the most beautiful island back drops in the world and forget all about the night before and the hangover I should have. Oh wait I'm still buzzin! However the feeling is serene!
That wears off soon, as we proceed to the sea and I start to get woozy. I go pull the trigger, get some toxins out, lay down, drink some water, pull the trigger, eat some fruit, jump in the water, and try to man up and grow some sea legs.
I did it and it was better.
Henry then casually informs us that we will each have to make a 2 hour night shift in the cockpit each night, making sure the boat does not crash. What?
¨Yes¨he said ¨The boat will be driving on auto pilot, but we always need to have someone making sure that we dont hit another boat and watch the depth and currents. You remember I showed you how to work the instruments?¨
¨Uh yea I guess we can do that, did you ever think of providing the hostals with this information to tell the passengers beforehand? So they can mentally prepare right?¨
He looks at me like Im a pussy.
We could not do anything right, weather it be cooking, cleaning, manning the wench, raising the sail, or taking a piss of the back.
He even got upset with me as I was singing,
Yo no soy marinero,
Yo no soy marinero,
Soy Capitan
Soy Capitan
Dude was the Gestapo!
After a few days of this we are approaching the port in Cartegena and Henry then decides he wants to tell me something.
¨Brandon, I know you speak Spanish, but let me speak to port authority, regrading the non stamps and funny faxed document, don´t say anything!¨
Now I had thought about this, if something were to occur I would play dumb to the fact that we did not even get our passports stamped, explain how he demanded them right off the bad and I did not know anything about the situation and trusted him, and if needed, let me pay the fine (bribe) to let me get the entry stamp and leave the boat and be on my way.
To Henrys credit I guess, we enter the port get our stamps after a few hours, and bounce.
What an experience! I learned a lot on this 4 day adventure. How to deal with different people in close quarters, how to be mature enough to deal with an unideal situation out of necessity, gained some sea legs, and last but not least, how to sail a bit.
In the end I must say and recommend to anyone who asks how to get to Colombia from Panama..... is there any question, dont be a pussy and sail!!!!
Yoho Yoho a pirates life for me
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