San Blas

So its a little island archipelago on the Caribbean coast of Panama. It is very sweet, and if I want to be cheesy I would say San Blas is a blast. So this entry will be more to inform, as before I went I attempted to research about this mysterious place, but for one of the very few times in my life the Internet and my guide book let me down.

For some reason the info on is archipelago was not helpful, nor that accurate, and it was kind of a struggle to figure shit out...or I just didn't have the right resources. So first if you want to go, don't even think about flying. You are much better off getting a round trip in a 4x4 which can be arranged for you by any of the youth hostel. Ask for Junior, hes legit! They come pick you up at 5AM any you make a few little stops, to get breakfast and any last minute supplies, and then you arrive at the little port or the spot where the canoe picks you up you board and then take off to the islands.

A few things to know first. The islands are inhabited by Kuna Indians, an indigenous people. They live very primitive in huts with no potable water and live on fish and rice. They do however do get shipments of soda, beer, water, and marijuana to sell to the visitors. I indulged in two. Guess which?

They make their living on the tourists by selling them random things they need or want, including jewlery and traditional cloths and stuff like that. They are very conservative speaking their native toung and some spanish. The men all speak Spanish and the women who are fortunate enough to go to school do to. Thankfully times have changed and all of the younger women now go to school and all of the kids learn, Kuna, Spanish, and some English.

Make sure you negotiate your price for staying on the islands first, before you take off. You don't have to pay until your trip is over and they take you back to the drop off area. The dude tried to charge me 25$ per night but I schisted him and pulled a maneuver. I am nice like that, and if you go I suggest trying something. Be creative!

Also it is recommended to bring food to "munch on" or just to eat, as the food they provide you with, will keep you alive, but it is far from good. I would say tolerable for a day but I would not rely on that. Bring canned food and stuff that wont perish in a short time. Tuna, canned veggies, chips, apples, oranges, salt, pepper, and the like.

The first spot I went to was Isla el Diablo. Real rocky but a jungley island. The water wasn't that great for bathing/swimming due to all the rocks. It was sweet however to hand the hammock that the natives lent me, and drink Flor de Canas and pass out.

Next mooring I had some of the Kunas take me to Isla Pelican. This island was probably about 2,000 meters squared ( You could fit at least 2 on an American football field). This was the most private beautiful island I have ever seen in my life including pictures. There was this turquoise ring around the island and then a deep blue all of the sudden as the depth went from about 7 feet to 25 suddenly around the whole island. It was an underwater cliff that was around the whole thing. Too cool for words.

Stayed there for the night, then took off the next day to Isla Ansuelo. Bigger, awesome sunset and closer to the main port.

As I was in the car returning, accompanying me was this dude from Israel who had the worst mosquito bites I have ever seen. He was on Robinson Island, and that is the most popular. Thats the party island, which was not what I was after. I would say if you go, bring mad replant and make sure it works, as many of them don't.

Yea so theres a bit of info. Hopefully the next person who wants to go can find this and not be as confused. Lonely Planet get your shit together.

Much love to Panama, another great country on the vast planet of ours.

PS If picturs wernt so God damn incriminating I would take some. I gotta keep my chances alive incase I ever do want to run for office. Or I could just go the gangster rought and be a dictator......

My last 100 hours

I spit a story backwards I start at the ending.

.South travel I before, Saco at days last My

Sunday 5AM Casco Viejo, Panama City:

I just got into my buddy Kens Milburn place in Panama city. I ask the first taxi guy to take me here and he declined and told me to wait till the morning, as he doesn't want to drive there in the dark. Great, Ken lives in a shady area. He forwarned me of this, and said that the bario right near it was El Chorillo, and that is the shady part. He said he would be waiting for me in the lobby, which he was and I entered without any drama.

12 Midnight Santiago, Panama:

The bus stop at a soda restaurant as they do about every 4 hours for a little break. I walk through the buffet line to get some food. I order a plate of chicken and fries, with a pear juice. Cost $3 as in Panama the national currency is the Dollar. I ask for salsa de tomate which is what they call ketchup in Costa Rica, the lady looks at me funny and said, "Ketchup", I said "si" She handed me 3 packets of Heinz!!! Awesome!!! The salsa de tomate in Costa Rica tastes like tomato paste and sugar, the only way I eat it is to mix it with hot sauce. I finally got real ketchup. 3 dollar meal and real ketchup, so far Panama so good!

8 PM Saturday Costa Rica/Panama border:

Fairly simple border crossing process. Get my exit stamp:Free. Panama entry sticker: $1. Panamanian visa:$5. The guy who was supposed to check bags at customs, was not around so they let us pass. Done, Im in Panama.

10 AM Saturday San Jose:

I get off the bus from Bagaces and take a taxi to the Panamanian express terminal. I buy a ticket for $25 to take me from capital to capital. I wait in the lobby until the buss leaves at Noon.

5:30 Am Saturday Bagaces:

I wake up, write a note on the white board, to say whats up to whoever ends up in the Synagog, grab my bag and head out. I stop by JJ's to tap on his window as that crazy fool got up to watch Arsenal draw with Manchester U, as Manny U got another title, sorry Bro. I grabbed him and made him walk to the parada and do some unstressin. I gave him my key and few instructions, we gave a little abrazo and said peace.

12:30 AM The street we all live on, Bagaces:

Struggleing to drag the bitty home, Ella estaba un pocita picada, y bein turca. Euphemism!

9 PM Friday Las Tejas, Bagaces:

We meet up with the gang to celebrate Kate's Birthday. Drink some pilsens do a tequila shot with her for her and do the standard Tejas stuff. Solo Bueno.

3:30 PM Friday BDC, Bagaces:

Last game of disk until I return to Bagaces. We play teams. Jeff and I are the Gringo B-team, however at Tittyair even the B-team is titty. Aaron and JJ are Gringo A-team (I pity the fool), and Randal and Mario are team Tico. B-team are always heavy underdogs but this day we held our own. We finished with par, I think our best team outing. We even finished the front 9 one under. A-team won with 5 under and that won them a caja de cervezas (24 beers) as they took the 2 out of 3 series from the Ticos. The point is that B-team is getting good!

1 PM Friday Saco, Bagaces:

I finally make it in to my last day of work. Give Alexis my Basket Ball, as he gave me this sweet Costa Rica National Soccer futbol jersey the week before. JJ got me a Guatemalan "Playera" when he went back, and all the Ticos were ragging on me for representing Guatemala and not Costa Rica. I said to Alexis it was a gift from a Guatemalan, and why hadn't
a Tico given me a soccer jersey to wear first? Then next day Alexis brought me one. Gracias Don Alexis solo calidad. I finish up a few projects I had lingering, sent out some emails, said "hasta luego" so some co-workers, and took it all in.

10 AM Friday The Synagog, Bagaces:

Woke up feeling pretty bent from the Gerson Goes Goodbye party the night before. Gathered my self, re-checked my bag to make sure I had everything ready, Took the bitty out to lunch and went to Saco.

12:30 AM Friday Randal and Emer's, Bagaces:

A Dudes Bien Tuanis Production in the making, yes we also throw parties, freaking sweet ones too. BDC presents Gerson Goes Goodbye, part one. Poker in the front liquor in the rear. I didn't get in on the gambling as I was DJaying, freestyling and entertaining. Bullshitted with Emer and Jess, spat some with Jeffry Cowface and some other mops, pegando la concha, y charlando con la bala, me calle bien este mae!

9:45 PM Las Tejas, Bagaces:

Las Tejas after futbol, standard crew. Have a long conversation with "Cholo" at the bar about how I have broken his negative stereotype of Gringos and how he loves me. This is a good thing, because if I were to ever get into a fight in Bagaces (very unlikely) I would want this beast of a man on my side. Honestly this is standard love I get from Bagaceños all the time.

7 PM Thursday, El Gymnasio, Bagaces:

We play futbol (Soccer) in the gym every Thursday evening. Normally everyone just shows up and teams are formed. It is futbol cinco, so 5 on 5 including the goalie. If there are four teams we play first goal wins and the new team enters, winners stay, this was the case this Thursday. This week however we decided to make a Gringo team, and show up in matching jerseys. We are Dudes Bien Tuanis, Aaron Sweeper, Justin Goal and Defense, JJ Forward, Jeff Goal and whatever, Me Midfielder and Wingman, and our sub and honorary Gringo, Mario Forward (surprisingly he can play quite well and even had a sweet bicycle kick shot attempt) . Because we declared this earlier in the week, the gym had a good amount of spectators show up to see the Gringos play. Word travels fast in Bagaces. So we lose our first few games, and were good matches but we couldn't score. We finally get our shit together and JJ puts his own rebound back in for our first win. The crowd in cheering and we are pumped. We loose the next game but it was a good one. Then at our next entry JJ scores again. Nice we are starting to get the hang of it. Next match I have a kick that the goal keeper blocks with the rebound right to me. I re-blast it at the goal and score. THE CROWD GOES NUTS! JJ comes up and hugs me and then Aaron. Like a real world cup game there was so much emotion. It was such a sick feeling, I don't score that often maybe once every few weeks, but this was team gringo and we are by far the worst team, as these maes live futbol. It was very cool to feel the love that everyone had for me, my teammates, the other teams, and the fans who showed up to watch. Bagaces Kicks Ass!

10 AM Thursday, Saco, Bagaces:

Work and stuff. JJ is busy making the T-shirt Jerseys that we will wear in the Majanga (futbol 5) tonight. Printing out mad iron on stickers and ironing them on to our shirts.

8 PM Wednesday, The Bagaces Synagog:

DBT begin our rap which still has no name. JJ got a sick beat off Freeloops and put a dope guitar rift to it. We are chillen for a good 5 hours rapping over and over again into a mic hooked up to JJ's computer. Lots of Litros de Pilsen y peggando purros. We even got two bitties to sing the hook, a Latina on the Spanish part and a Gringa on the English part.


Si tu eres un mop
y te gusta hip hop
Escupimos fuego y esa varas muy hot
So dudes listen up
Cuz its real what we got
No one ever said to start
So theres no need to sto....

You better get that shit working Jota!!

6:30 PM Wednesday,KT's Chicken House, Bagaces:

Waiting for happy hour. Pilsen, disk talk, and the DBT rap session coming up.

4:30 PM Wednesday, BDC:

Last league night for me before I bounce. I go out in style. I shoot a + 4 by far my best solo round, I tied with Aaron, and didn't get last for the first time. Dudes give me props.


This is Brandon, leave it, Peace!


* Side notes

The Bagaces Synagog is Justin and My appartment. We are probably the first Jews to ever live in Bagaces let alone together. Therefore it is reffered to as the Synagog. Too bad we don't have a Mezuzah.

A majenga is a pick up game, normally used for futbol sala, or on an indoor stadium.

I am on a lack of sleep as I suck at it, and on a buss all night does not help. This must be right though as I just had deja vu as I just wrote "not help". I had a lot more details I wanted to put in but Im a bit out of it.

Iinform more on Panama as it comes up.

Disk Golf in the Pouring Rain

I refer to it as disk golf, and would never insult myself, my friends, or the game by saying we play frisbee golf. I can't think of stupider word than Frisbee, well maybe platypus, but don't even get me started on that beast!

The word frisbee comes from the Frisbee Pie Company, a bakery in Connecticut, who gained fame providing Union solders with baked goods during the Civil war. Fast forward a century and a bunch of Ivy League geniuses start throwing these tins around, and a new leisure activity is born. Now to be honest I would much rather associate our game with a much cooler Discus Throw of the ancient Greek era, than that of some stoned granola kids throwing around pie tins. So for sake of argument, we play disk, and are Greek warriors!

So for those who are not hip to the pastime of Disk Golf, heres a quick tutorial. Its like golf but with disks and you have to throw them into a basket. There you have it.

We have designated Wednesday night as league night, mainly due to the fact that the bar right down the street, KT's Chicken House (we are trying to talk her into making waffles too), has 2 por 1 cervezas between 7 and 8 on Wednesday. So we throw disk and then go chill at the bar and struggle to get a smile out of KT. It is quite the sweet evening, and really has us all looking forward to hump day.

Normally we tend to play Friday afternoons too, as we get out of work early and there is good sunlight. This was the case last Friday.

So there we are Friday afternoon. The Dudes Bien Tuanis, chilling in the very cloudy Bagaces Disk Club (BDC), looking at the sky awaiting the enviable downpour that is quickly approaching. To play in the pouring rain, or not to play, that is the question. Jeff decided to stay in his office and not come out, and Mario was a bit under the wether and decided he was not down, playos! Aaron, JJ, Randal, and I all decided we did not have sandy vaginas and took off our shirts, and proceeded to get wet.


A few points to consider:
-One cool thing about Costa Rica is that it is tropical and when it does rain, it is generally not cold. So if you can deal with the water its not that bad.
-I am by far the worst player.
-This particular afternoon is was F@$&ing pouring! By far worsening my game.

The first hole was cool because we were excited to play in the the rain for the first time. So were at the first T-Box and the rain was at our back and coming down at a 45° angle. It was kinda pushing the disks down which could have been good for me because when I drive I tend to throw high. We all drive and as expected all of our disks land shorter than our normal drives. Ahh gravity and the rain hitting the disk doesn't allow them to fly as far. Noted.

After the first hole JJ and Randal pared and Aaron and I bogeyed. Move to hole two, a par four, and the rain pegging you right in the face as we throw. This was a bitch! At this point in time we had 17 holes to go, and were all soaked to the bone. We decided to battle through though.

After struggling through the front nine, Randal and JJ were tied at +1 Aaron had +4, and yours truly was holding it down with a +7. It then stopped pouring and we were blessed with a drizzle for 2 holes... until it proceeded to pour again. After getting 2 double bogies in a row, I got pissed at my self and stopped keeping my score. I just was throwing more for practice, trying the 360 toss, and backhands which I cannot do well. This actually was a blessing in disguise, as one relaxes and doesn't really care how they play, they tend to play better. This was the case with me. I learned this in a rigorous Bocce Ball game back in the day, but forgot this virtue up until this exact moment. Hopefully I bring this lesson with me to the next match.

We finished out the back nine and JJ and Randal ended up tying for the win with +2 each, Aaron finished with something like +8 and I sucked it up and got all poor sport and didn't keep my score. At least Im honest.

After that we came back to the office and dried off as best as we could, and then traditionally proceeded to KT's for some chilling and bullshitting.

I wonder if I will continue to play in the states? It will be tough as our course is like one I have never seen. Well I have not really played much disk in the states, but after being one of the founders and pioneer of a course like this it is hard to compare any others. Well maybe I will play,especially when Aaron gets our custom BDC disks. Sport those in the states. Oh mae solo bueno!!!

Brief Introduction

It begins! Here I am, sitting at my desk as I just finished recreo (recess, or my break what have you) and it seems like just any other standard mundane evening in the office. At this point in time I generally try to finish up the daily tasks I have been working on, and then proceed to dick around on the internet for a few hours until it is time for me to go home. Not gonna lie, I am normally burnt out from working for the past eight hours and ready to go home. However at Saco, I still have two more working hours to go. I don't know what exactly hit me today, but I decided that it was time for me to start a personal blog. We shall see how long it lasts.

I feel that I must start by saying a few things to explain my self, and maybe lay down some guidelines to ease readers expectations and answer any preconceived questions. Im going with a basic list of factors that have inspired me to do this, and a brief explanation of my thought process. This also can serve as a method to provide my kick ass readers (yes you automatically KICK ASS for reading what I have to say) with some insight, and lay down some guidelines as to how to interpret my writing style and what to expect. As you should well know, I speak like I want, and I type like I speak, neither one of them very conventional. I control words they do not control me! With that said maybe you should have another window open to Thesaurus.com. or even better Urbandictionary.com to better understand some of the spit Im laying down. Oh yea, I take a while to get to the point too so bear with me...or don't.


So some points:
- I want to declare that I am doing this for me, and not really trying to impress anyone.
- Since Im on line too often, I read a lot of blogs. Some of them are good and entertaining, whereas others should be reading material to help assist insomniacs. Hopefully mine is the former.
- I actually write a lot of stuff secretly (don't tell anyone) and I think I don't suck. So I guess I will sack up and see if others agree or if idiots dont?
- The internet is a trip and anyone can post whatever they want. So Ill be a joiner.
- Recently I have discovered a sort of a creative side and I guess Im going with it.
- And most importantly this can serve as a way to keep others updated on my abnormal happenings. As I know people want to know whats going on with me as I try to keep my life far from mainstream. I appreciate everyone for not bugging me too much as you know Im not huge on uninvited attention, so for this I reward you. I guess it would have been wise to start this when I moved to CR, not as Im leaving, but whatever. *A note on that, I will have to see how this thing goes to determine if I really want to post the wild shit, or leave this thing tame. We shall see, but if this blog goes ordinary I will block you mom and turn it up a notch.

So if you made it this far I thank you. I know that nothing of real substance was written and it is more just me on a rant about my motives, but I guess I had to start somewhere. I will update this soon and put some type of antic-dote of the happening that are going on around me. There is an abundance of entertaining situations that happen on the norm around me, bueno digo yo verdad. Ok so check back soon, or sign up for the alert thing. Peace